Doing it Sober, Ya'all

"Please slow down, you're in a parking lot."

"No, really slow down."

"DON'T TAKE CORNERS ON TWO WHEELS."

"SLOW DOWN!"

"Good, good- next time though maybe stop the car completely before trying to put it in Park. No, you're right, automatics don't usually grind like that."

Likelihood Man-Child will get his license: 100%

Likelihood I will develop a drinking problem: 100%