Urban Myth

I finally touched base with my girlfriend Lola yesterday. I wish I could tell you it’s unusual for us to go weeks without talking and then all of the sudden catch up as though no time had passed. I wish I could tell you that but I prefer to save my lies for something more important. Like when....ya, I have no idea.

She called yesterday with great news- she found a man!!! Wooo-hooo A MAN- they do exist, they do exist. Better yet she found a single man, an educated, sensitive man. One who bathes, pays his bills (on time), and reads. She found a grown-up man. A grown-up single man!!! I know – I was shocked too.

Whoa there, Cowboy! Don’t get all up in arms.  I know there are many of you out there. I know deep in my heart- that single grown-up men exist. Just like I know someday aliens will indeed visit the earth.

But here, my friend, in the land of the couple- Single, Grown-Up Men are hard to find.

We have lots of single boys, lots of the “please take care of me”, “do I have to go with you”, “do I actually have to be an adult”, and “the married but still think I’m single” men.  We also have plenty of grown-up, wonderful, married and committed men. None of which help us single girls.

But a single grown-up man. Siggghhh!

I’m very happy for her and not jealous at all. Seriously I'm not. She deserves it. Recently divorced from an over-grown frat boy, she deserves an adult.

Then our conversation took an odd turn. Yes, men we really do talk to each about stuff like this. Be afraid, be very afraid. 

Katrina:  “Have you ever had a guy last a really long time?”
Me: “What do you mean? Like, ok I’m ready to go watch Glee now, finish up?”
Katrina:  “Ummm, yeah. Like this was fun a half an hour ago but now I’m ready to do something else, anything else.”
Katrina:  “Maybe.”
Me: "Foreplay?"
Katrina: "Rocks, is awesome, not an issue."
Me: “Well at least is he…. well…you know…properly proportioned?”
Katrina:  “Ohhh yeah….what a difference!”
OK- now I hate her.

Urban Myth