Zoe Rights: 50 Dangerous Things you should let Your Children Do

Gever Tulley has a new book out “Fifty Dangerous Things (You Should Let Your Children Do)” Not familiar with Gever Tully? I wasn't either until I watched this…

…and to a certain extent he has a point We … Oh, look I started to say “We, as a society…” and spout off the usual claptrap you hear all over the Net. How we don’t allow our kids to experience enough or give them enough freedom or let them explore….blah, blah, blah, blah.

…and then I remembered- I don’t speak for society. I can only speak for me.

For the most part I’m a pretty good parent. I don’t beat them. They have roofs over their heads, have never gone hungry and are fairly decent human beings. They know enough to look at me when their peers are acting like selfish, obnoxious, self-centered brats and roll their eyes.

However I have one regret in this parenting journey. I was a nervous parent. Especially when they were young.

“DON’T CLIMB, SETTLE DOWN, TAKE YOUR ELBOWS OFF THE TABLE, DON’T JUMP, BE QUIET, SIT STILL.”

Annoying, huh!

Sure I know why. I was a young parent, a single parent. The pressure to be both Mom and Dad is ridiculous. I didn’t have parents, just two over-grown children who were slightly older than I occupying the same dwelling- so no role models. But the bottom line…if someone, somehow managed to infuse the knowledge I have now into my younger self, I would have relaxed just a little.

One of my girlfriends Lola…now in her 30’s, has three children under the age of seven. You couldn’t pay me enough. I love my children dearly but I’m enjoying the dusk of their childhood. I couldn’t even imagine going through this again. No one ever tells you before what parenting is really like…they try-you just don’t listen. But anyway that’s a post for another day.

Lola, to her credit, is a much different parent than I was. She’s relaxed, not permissive, just relaxed. You can see the difference in her kids. They are confident – fearless. The youngest, barely three, can navigate the play structure at the park like there’s no tomorrow. It makes all the Dads scared to watch this teeny, tiny little girl climb atop the 7 foot structure, the words…”Be careful” hovering on their lips with condemnation in their eyes.

But I wave them off. “No, her mother lets her do this.”

…and she’s fearless, a wonder really. I’m in awe. Isn’t this what we ultimately want for our kids… to go into the world and be fearless? To experience things.

So I stand back, a better stand-in aunt than I was a parent, and watch, mouth shut. But if I happen to be standing right under where she is climbing, ready to catch, just in case. Well, some habits die hard.