Barring an Aneurysm-People are Freaks
>> 31 January 2010
When I was a child grown-ups would often ask me the question…you know the question grown-ups always ask children…
What do you want to be when you grow up?
But I thought Johnny wanted to be a policeman? He’s a tire salesman? How’d that happen? That bitch of a hooker called life happened. One too many shots of schnapps in the back seat of Mom’s Ford Escort with Becky at homecoming- that’s how Johnny ended up selling $900 36 inch tires to rednecks named Jimmy.
Where was I? Anyhoo, I always wanted to be a Librarian. A place you get to work with books all day long- what could be better?
Fast forward 13 years- there I am working in my first public library, Disney music swelling in the background, birds and mice circling in joyous wonder.
One thing I forget…you don’t just work with books in a library- you work with people. Interesting people.
In my first month…
- I was thrown up on during story time-twice.
- I was flashed- complete with trench coat, fedora and black socks and dress shoes
- I walked into the public restroom to find two people; a man and a woman –buck ass naked –shaving each other. THEIR ENTIRE BODIES! Seriously!
It was then I decided perhaps public service was not for me so I promptly left… eight years later.
2 comments:
That's funny! Especially the shaving couple! I thought the same thing about working with books would be great, although I ended up in a bookstore. I think people get weird around books. One customer (guy) got caught masturbating in a comfy chair in the corner. Then there was the young girl that would come in and smear her feces on the bathroom walls. Oh, and the brilliant layout of the store was to have the erotica books by the men's bathroom! I'll have to blog about my experiences some time and you and I can compare stories!
Are you kidding me? I'm still trying to figure it out! Hilarious post, good thing you got out. Eight years? That's ok, at least you have some great stories from it.
Post a Comment