Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater
>> 27 March 2010
I know you're surprised. After all I have such a hard time telling all ya all how I feel. I'm verbally stunted. Obviously.
I watched The Blind Side last night and it got to me to thinking.
Poor Sandra Bullock. Here she is finally winning, what in her profession is the top honor- an Oscar. (Let's set aside for a moment if she deserves it, that's a whole different post altogether.) She gets about five minutes to enjoy it and then her entire personal life is splashed across the front pages with a zeal usually reserved for naughty politicians.
And we like her. Dear God, what would we (the public, media etc.) do to someone we didn't like?
Anyhow, a common theme seems to have surfaced, from the media, the public, the man on the street... a theme that has me seriously riled up.
The Let's Blame the Victim theme. Yeah!!!!
Let me back up for just a moment. To my knowledge- I've never been cheated on. So no- I'm not bitter. Moving on.
Lately I've heard....
She must have known- therefore she deserves what happened to her.
We shout out in horror. How could she not have known? To which I answer -and so? How does her knowledge of the situation change anything? If a spouse/lover/partner chooses to cheat- and yes it's a choice- it's on them. Regardless of the why's -their behavior is on them. Not the Partner. Period.
She knew who he was when she married him, why is she surprised?
I know it's a wild and crazy notion but people have the capacity to change. If they didn't, counseling, psychology, and all forms of art therapy would be utterly useless. Yes- I know we hear all the time- people don't change. To which I reply- Bullshit. People change all the time. They grow up. Or they don't.
She must be a real bitch.
Okay- again what does that have to do with anything? I don't care if the non-cheater is the biggest bitch of all time. Nothing condones cheating. If you cheat- again it's your behavior. Not theirs.
Bottom-line
I am seriously sick to death of hearing how Jesse's behavior or Tiger's behavior or John Edward's behavior has anything to do with their spouse. When we marry someone we pledge to love them, to honor them. I can pretty much guarantee not one of those women is feeling pretty honored right now.
On a Side-Note: I know this seems pretty male-bashy. I don't mean it to be. Feels free to exchange any feminine pronoun for a male one. Men have been in the news quite a bit lately but I guarantee if you find a female case, I'm going to feel exactly the same.
6 comments:
I know the media feels we need to hear all this crap over and over and over again. But really, who gives a damn. The news programs have it on ever time you tune in, it's on the cover of every magazine not just the gossip rags. As a consumer, you've lost me. I am totally fed up with these "news worthy" tidbits. Who gives a rat's ass?
Just stopping in to say Thanks for following my blog! I'm now following yours! Great blog & I love your header/banner!
~Angela
I agree with you and I don't think you were male bashing. You were pointing out the fact that cheaters are the ones who should own up and take responsibility. It just happens you gave male examples.
A male friend of mine told me how his wife cheated on him. As he said, cheating is a symptom that something is missing, needed and wanted in the marriage.
My friend went to counseling and the marriage ended, but not because of the infidelity.
In my opinion, most who stray from a marriage are chickens and don't have courage to discuss what is bothering them.
Also, what happened to respecting another person?
I appreciate your point on this post. I agree, too. Marriage is treated like trash. Thanks for stopping in at my blog, Scraps of Life, during the book blog hop! I'm a new follower!!
I'm also tired of hearing people trash the woman who chooses not to stay. While it's covered in the vows with the whole "for better, for worse", so is the "to love and honor". No one puts any blame on the one who cheats, it seems.
Right there with ya!!
Wrote such a similar post last week, too: http://saiaandchago.blogspot.com/2010/03/i-dont-wanna-think-about-sandra-bullock.html
I, however, have been cheated on, several times, and find so many similarities in this situation, I can hardly breathe.
Glad to have found you.
Jo Anna
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