Where would people never notice a town full of robots?
>> 21 June 2010
I often complain, complain, bitch and moan about living in the suburbs. There's never anything to do. Everyone thinks and acts the same. The lack of social and racial diversity. The just-like-us mentality. (Make sure you read the last few sentences in the same tone of voice your kids use at 2:00 on a week-day afternoon after being trapped in the house all day)
On Saturday the realization finally hit- they got me. I've been assimilated.
No
Was it when I looked down at my matchy-matchy yoga outfit? As I pulled up to the gym to pull my personal yoga mat for my twice weekly class from the back of my gas-guzzling SUV?
No.
Was it an hour later as I stopped at the "Farmer's Market" outside Whole Foods to pick up a little something for snack later on? Pulling from the back of the same gas-guzzling SUV our very own canvas shopping bags.
No
Or perhaps as we pulled into Starbucks to grab a little something. Or when we arrived at one of the 19 city sponsored softball parks to watch my niece get her game on? As we settled into our chairs and cheered with all the other Moms and Dads who pay upwards of $900 so they can schelp their ten year old little darlings from city to city all summer long.
No.
It was when I looked down at myself. Cardigan, Tank-top, Black Capris, Ballet Flats, Over-sized sunglasses. Looked around and counted no less than 12 women in the same outfit.
Forehead Slap.
15 comments:
I had a similar epiphany years ago, and decided that my community was missing a lovable but trashy loud mouth. so I donned my best Dolly Pardon outfit and took them on..
I'll do you one better: I just signed up for tennis lessons.
Kill me now.
My sister asked me "why don't you like the midwest?" I replied that it's basically one huge suburb surrounded by a field. I cannot tell you how much I hate suburbia. I was just recently ranting and bitching about it in a post. Suburbia will kill all sense of self, will kill anything creative and individualistic. GET. OUT. NOW! Get out. Run. Don't walk! It's like the blob coming to slowly suck all life away from you, and the worst is it happens unexpectedly and suddenly you wake up to look at a stranger in the mirror, with a fake smile going with that perfect fake tan and at 5 pm you are waiting for your man at the door, with a cold cocktail in your hand. And the cocktail is for HIM! Just run... Save yourself, get to the nearest city! Please...
I hate the burbs. A suburb is a suburb is a suburb. No matter where on earth you are, it's still a blood sucking suburb.
Sounds like somebody's had one too many frappaccinos today.
I decided that I looking like a rockstar and making a scene is MUCH more fun than conforming...
HaHa!! Although I do TRY to tone it down for school functions... Only 4 inch heels!!!
Seems like I found the one saving grace of being terminally out of sync with the rest of civilization. Who would have thunk? I am so unpardonably hopeless that I can risk a trek to Starbucks without being noticed by anyone! even the person behind me in the line.
Here I was trying to 'conform' and keep my cleavage under wraps and my skirts down to my knees
Your post scared the shit out of me
I'm unbuttoning my shirt & getting the scissors now
And canceling my daughters' dance classes! (which we all hate)
You must NOT assimilate. Must NOT.
Yoga-doing, Starbucks-drinking, SUV-driving, sustainable poser who wears Jackie-Oversized sunglasses and totes a really big bag. Yep, you just described me. But I still live in the heart of San Francisco, so what gives?
Maybe I'd get my punk on if I moved to Orinda...
I love this post! I'm so glad you are so insightful about this and not in denial! :) I recently got out of a bad relationship that happened to occur largely in the suburbs. Coincidence? I think not. I moved out to his house and was quickly disgusted by the suburbs. I can't do it. But I don't judge. I ran screaming back to the city, and I'm happy with my dog in my teeny tiny 400 square foot condo where I have to go outside and upstairs to do laundry. With quarters. Yeah, I guess there are pros and cons with everything, huh? :) And I'm sure you looked super hot compared to everyone else in that same outfit!
I always wanted to be one of those...but it never happened. How do you girls do it??
I wanted to be one of those when I grew up. Instead, I'm a poor, station-wagon driving, heavily tattooed (does having 13 tattoos count as heavily?), what others would probably consider trashy though it would be due more to where I live rather than how I act or the way I live; I wonder what happened here?
You must not fall into the 'norm' though, you must rebel - even if that means losing the cardigan and wearing shorts! I know you can do it ;-)
I've spent the past few years fighting being a "Stepford." I think I achieved it when I went to pick my kids up from school (the Christian school) in a jogging bra and shorts.
OMG, how lame that I'm leaving a second comment, but I have more advice: drop the F-bomb a lot when you are around these peeps and you are sure to make your individuality known.
I went to a Stella&Dot/get-to-know-your new-kindergarten-families party last night. I'm pretty sure all the Barbies wanted to know why a trucker had crashed the party.
Did I mention that this is for a private Catholic school? Awesome. (Lesson learned: maybe shop more and drink less...)
Track home-pretty much check
Yoga outfit-check
Gas-guzzling SUV-double check
"Farmer's Market" shopper-check
Starbucks-oh hell yeah check
Outfit-yep, check minus the cardigan 'cuz it's too freakin' hot
Sh*t, I'm doomed...my only hope is that I am the mom/aunt with the gin & tonic in a Sonic cup at the ball game.
Great post!
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