Much Ado about Nothing
>> 07 July 2010
Had a meeting with the BIG boss today. Only took a week. I work fast, what can I tell ya?
I'd like to tell you what that meeting was about but I left my normal people to The Ridiculous Business Jargon Dictionary in my desk and only caught every fifth word.
Blah, blah, blah, corporate vision. Blah, blah, blah, blah really looking forward to your contribution to the team blah, Q4 blah, blah, revenues exceeded...
I'll spare you the rest of the 45 minute blather session about positively nothing.
Best part of the entire meeting? He stared at my boobs the entire time. Almost made me sad that I remembered to wear a bra this morning. Don't judge. I need a raise. I gots hungry children to feed spoiled brat children to cloth.
I have to say I'm always amazed and just a little bit envious by those who have the ability to blather on about the most innocuous of topics in such a way that 98% of the population have no idea just what the hell they are talking about. Do you think it's a gift? Was it a class I forgot to take in business school? The ability to talk for ten minute blocks of time without ever once completing a coherent sentence.
...and they never once repeat themselves!!!!
Today I barely contained myself as he hit the free space on my Corporate Bingo Card. 1000 points baby. Zero Sum Game. I didn't think people used that little bon mot in regular conversation but he did. Oh yes he did.
6 comments:
And the people that blather on and on honestly think others are interested in their shit.
I had a client like this, I would fly all the way to CA from the east coast drive hours, check into a hotel because he wanted "face time" for an important meeting. Then he would spend 3 days flittering in and out, always talking about nothing and only staring at my butt and boobs. God I miss that awesome job.
There is nothing wrong with flashing boobage. My boss always is taking a peek at my cleavage. But he doesn't to a very good job of hiding it. Men. they are silly
Corporate psycho-babble is one of the very most fun things about going back to work AFTER you've taken the baby sabatical. I remember thinking how hot my shit was because I could talk that talk, and therefor must have been VERY SMART and VERY IMPORTANT.
Then I had kids and realized that talking in simple words actually gets the point across.
Now, I love to interrupt anyone blathering on (a skill learned from my own children) with an "essentially you are just saying THIS-REALLY-SIMPLE-THING." It's always fun, especially for anyone else snickering in the room with Mr. or Mrs. Big-Word-Of-The-Day.
It sounds to me like you're clearly overlooking the importance of Synergy when trying to connect the appropriate Corporate Vision to Projected Revenue Stream within the context of...
(Hey, was that a flash of boob??)
Blagga blagga blagga blagga blagga blagga blagga blagga blagga.....
Love it! I worked in super corporate land for almost 7 years and I don't miss you damn bit. I know exactly what you mean and you might as well play along. Learn to talk and say nothing for 15 minutes... and spend lots and lots of company money. Oh and always walk around fast with a frown... it makes you seem important.
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