Cocktail, Stat!

Jesus, Joseph and Mary Internet, I might have have had the most awful day in the existence of bad days. Ever!

Between picking up a piece of metal in my tire, to having to go to the dentist and then off to fix said damaged tire and then to court  all the while drooling and swollen and maybe just a tiny weeny bit dopey on the pain meds the dentist insisted on, it just, the day just, the day...the day....wait let me catch my breath for just a moment.

Okay, I'm calm.

Let me back up and start at the beginning. I arrive home after dropping my little darlings off at that place that keeps them out of my hair for upwards of 6 to 8 hours a day, (God bless modern government and it's whole the masses must be educated decree) only to find a long shiny piece of metal sticking out of my tire. As I'm a spoiled suburban mom, I call a perfectly nice gentleman to come and change my tire. Yes, I know I'm a feminist and really ought to know how but, but...I have no excuse.After a quick 20 minutes (all of which I spent here chatting with you lovely people) bing, bang, bam, done, changed. No muss, no fuss. Insurance covered, so no charge.

I then have to go to the dentist. I've broken my tooth clean in half towards the back, thank you Jesus. Of course the other half must come out. I carefully explain to the darling roly poly Japanese man- I'm a teeny, tiny bit afraid of the dentist. He pats my hand. I make a small Valium joke. He laughs. I whimper. He tells me it'll be fine. Just 5 minutes and a temporary and I'll be on my way. I tear up just a little. No, no I wasn't kidding. Really.Kinda scared, seriously. I got the quit being a baby look.

Well let me tell you Internet, .he's not laughing now. Oh no, next time I make a Valium joke I dare say he might take me just a bit more seriously. He almost cried. He had to excuse himself and leave the room for an entire 10 minutes after my procedure to and I quote "get a grip" before he could come back and pop in a temporary. As for me? I may have had 10 minutes of hysterics in the safety of my car after but really no one saw right?

Then off to get the old tire fixed. Although the tire has a shiny silver object protruding from it's depths, THEY FIXED IT! I tell you, I'm going to have to write one of those Les Schwab is amazing, the king of all tire companies because truly- they are my hero. I bet they would have given me Valium. But anywho I digress. They fixed my tire AT NO CHARGE. Just like they rotate my tires every 5000 miles at no charge. I love this company very, very much and not just because the Vicodin is starting to kick in.

Why is it when doctors/dentists say this isn't going to hurt a bit, it always does?

Then I grab a panicked call from work. Where are you? they cry. Just a clue. I'm not there. At least they cared enough to call even if it was only so I could tell someone how to do something. I've been in that office a little over a month y'all. A month and I'm the go-to-girl. How, just how?

Then off to court. 2 hours of waiting for 5 minutes in front of the judge. Drooling and slurring my words. Thank heavens I wasn't in for a DUI charge.

I have a friend who always says we have these kinds of days so we enjoy the days when everything goes smoothly.

Yes I punched her in the mouth, just for you Internets. Just for you.

Cocktail, Stat!