Fall, Fall, FALL Where are you?

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I have this incredibly strong yet slightly crazy urge to go the ocean lately. I know, I know all you mid-west people are probably thinking...WTF California Girl- isn't the beach right in your backyard. To which I have to respond. Not yet but I figure the next big earthquake and I should have some nice ocean front property.

Take that San Francisco..Ooooo, ooo with your fancy restaurants, kick-ass plays and wild and crazy things to do every night. Yeah who's gonna be laughing when you're ass deep in the middle of the ocean. Yeah, yeah.

Well, not me. That'd be mean.

Anyhoodle. I'm kinda surprised I want to go to the ocean right now considering it tried to eat me not so long ago. Ohhhh sure, everyone sees those rip current signs. Yeah right. You know park ranger, someone might have been sitting in the passenger seat trying to console three crying children. I certainly didn't expect the ocean to rise up and eat me and that whole just relax and let it carry you out. That is some BS advice. Then you're like 20 miles from shore and have to con Monty the Great White into either eating you and carrying you back in.

I know who's fault this sudden urge to see the giant bathtub is- it's that god damned Sunset Magazine. Sunset Magazine is a pervasive you know what. Minding my business, scooting along my day. Oh look it's Sunset Magazine. Why look at all the pretty pictures. Oh look a container garden. Why, I can grow a container garden (no I can't). Look at this pretty salsa over fresh grilled fish, I can cook that (nope can't cook either) with fresh vegetables I can grow in my own garden (no, no, not really) and fresh eggs hatched by the chickens I raised myself (well you get the picture).

It's beach house month or something. All of the sudden all I can see is myself sitting by a bonfire sipping a lovely Pinot Grigo and hearing the sound of the waves crashing on the beach.

See, see right here. Can't you picture me?

Oh Dear Lord in Heaven, why wasn't I born independently wealthy again?

Fall, Fall, FALL Where are you?