A Martini dry with two olives please
>> 23 September 2010
Work is an interesting place if you think about it. You take 100 or so relative strangers, place them in a room (a giant room to be sure but a room never the less), make them spend 90% of their day together and then force them to be on their best behavior.
No farting, no belching, no telling of dirty/racist jokes. No sexually harassing each other.
It didn't used to be quite this bad. Back in the day - the founding fathers of the modern office understood you needed a few vices so you didn't turn to your neighbor and rip their fucking heads off. Watch any episode of Mad Men and you'll know what I mean. Never mind all the smoking, drinking and screwing that went on in office buildings across America back in the good old days, they had something even more important sorely missing today.
Know what that one most important thing could possibly be?
The most important awesome thing?
A door!
An actual room you could escape to, a place where you could block out the stench of humanity. My co-workers tell me it could be worse. In our parent company- back in Belgium- they have an open office plan. No cubicle walls. Everyone from manager to drone work at desks - a giant sea of people where ever you look. No Internet porn. No furtive glances at the football score. No Twitter to be sure. Must be why they can leave at 5:00 pm every day.
I have a pen clicker in my office. All day, every day. In meetings. Click, click, click, click Click, click, click, Click, click, click, click click. Click, click, click, click Click, click, click, Click, click, click, click click. At his desk. Click, click, click, click Click, click, click. Walking down the hall. Click, click, click, click Click, click, click,
The mom in me wants to gently place my hand on his and call his attention to the action. Not dissimilar to what you would do with children in church. The psycho obsessive compulsive in me wants to plant that pen in the middle of his forehead.
I'm not entirely sure which side will win in the end.
6 comments:
You are making me laugh with the click,click, click, click, click, click,click,click, click, click, click, click,click,click, click, click, click, click,click,click, click, click, click, click. Should I stop? I liked that part, though. You are also reminding me of "Office Space", which I love, and the point of my blog "The Break Room". You need a break at work from all of those strangers, especially if you can't get on Twitter!
I think your clicking dude and my coughing dude should meet... preferably in a building far far away. Like Lebanon or something.
Omg, the pen clickers of the world are going to make me lose it. LOL
I think you should ram it up his nose and then click it a few dozen times. Gah..I hate pen clickers!
pen PLANT, pen PLANT, pen PLANT! (Chanting for the side I want to win. I think it'd make for an awesomely delicious post.)
A door to block the stench of humanity!!!!!!!!!!! HA! LOVE it.
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