Watching Out for the Little Guy

Dear Staples,
I just wanted to take a second to congratulate you. Congratulations! I think it's so awesome you're doing so well.

I mean obviously you must be doing well, you don't even need us anymore. You know, the lowly customer. The customer who just wants to run in on their lunch break, grab some ink and maybe, just maybe, an office chair, get out with enough time to grab a fake salad from Wendy's and actually have time to eat said salad.

I think I figured out how you did it. Dominated the office supply industry, that is.

It's by telling your staff- well that one guy on the floor who's helping the oldest person in existence,  answering questions like- so that's the telephone huh? How long of a cord do I buy? I like to sit on the john when I talk on the phone but hate when the cord gets all twisted- to glare evilly at said customer when they ask if there is anyone else working.

Obviously you're winning the customer service wars by training him to motion abruptly at the chair on the floor and tell the customer they can take that one or wait until he's done helping...well actually until hell freezes over really.

But this was the kicker Staples, the best part. This must be why you are doing so well. Might be that one thing that lovely guy forgets to mention, dear Staples. Forgets to mention there's an eight dollar assembly charge. Coincidentally you know who else forgets to mention it? Why yes, you guessed it, the cashier. Crazy I know.

I'm sure customers are appreciative to find that awesome charge on their receipt hours later. It's how you show you care.

So again Staples- congrats once again.

Love always,
Zoe

P.S. Oh yeah, this is why I shop online again.

Watching Out for the Little Guy