When did I become a TV Mother?

Lots of kids stuff this week- sorry but I write what I'm living and this week I'm living kids.

I took the kids to Dave and Busters yesterday- my two plus my goddaughter- the Princess. Not the easiest thing to entertain 3 teenagers even the middle of Suburbia. Hence our foray into bowling and Dave and Buster's and God only knows what's next. We're trying all kinds of crazy things this week. Hell today might be SkyZone- Indoor trampolining. You never know.

So anyhoodle...I take the kids to Dave and Buster's- for those of you who never been it's an indoor arcade for people and pedophiles too old for Chuckie Cheese.

Holy Smokes- I'm not sure I can do that again anytime soon at least not until I take out a second on the house. Fastest hundred bucks I've ever spent, which would have been fine had the food not SUH-ucked. How do you screw up a steak salad people? It's not hard. A little lettuce, some steak, a few other veggies and you're golden. But no- you have to throw on the most god-awful dressing I ever tasted. What the hell was that? Egg? Garlic? Fresh beetles?

We get out from our 15 minutes of entertainment (just kidding) and I announce I want to run over to Borders to grab a book. Of course everyone in my family knows what that means. We aren't a run into the bookstore and pick up a book kind of people. We're a peruse thoughtfully, grab a few we're considering, sit in the cafe, order a beverage and mull over our options kinda people.

Ex-Librarian- our colors run deep.

Before the words even leave my mouth the Princess pipes up in her most snotty tone she muster, "I don't want to go to Borders. TAKE ME HOME."

Every parent has a button. A button once pushed, automatically causes the parent to see red. Self-centered, snotty, disrespectful kids is mine. If kids are smart they avoid this button at all costs. The Princess- having been in our lives all this time should know by now.

I literally saw red.

I held it in. Although I tell you my internal monologue was going a mile a minute. Starting with you spoiled, self-centered little brat, ending with...well it's really not worth repeating.

I held it in till I got to the car. I didn't scream. I didn't yell. I calmly looked her in the eye and let her have it. Starting with "Don't ever talk to me in that tone of voice again...." I'll spare you the rest.

It's always iffy, disciplining other people's kids. I hope to hell I've done my job right so no one else ever has to discipline mine but I also hope if needed someone else cares enough about my kid to do so.

It takes a village people, it takes a village.

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Stuff is Awesome

So all members of the Right family are off this week. Off our rocker that is-Ha, ha, ha, ha, heee, teee, heee. Just kidding. I'm sorry. Deeply, deeply sorry.

Off school, off work. Off our medication. Not true-if anything we are on our medication. Every damned member of this family is sick this week. All even down to smallest Kitty Right.

Doesn't that just figure- first time in at least six years I have both time off and actual cash in the bank and no one feels well enough to do anything.

Except we did sneak off yesterday for a little light bowling. We've never bowled before and if SuperGirl has her way we never will again. I didn't know you could actually score in the single digits in bowling. Now I do.

I've also taken this time to embrace a new joy of entertainment in my life- that's right. Angry Birds. The ultimate time suck. Perfect for when you're stuck in bed, littering your floor with a virtual cornucopia of bath tissue. Something so soothing- better than NyQuil.

Either we need to be better by tomorrow or someone may need to surgically remove this game from my hands. 

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Just when I think I have this figured out

Where's Bill Cosby when you need him? Mr. Rogers? Hell I'd settle for Mr. Snuffleupagus.

My dear and darling readers, come close because I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Closer, closer, OWWW. Too close.

mychildrenaren'tperfect. 

I SAID- my children aren't perfect. I said it. It's been said.

Not only are they not perfect, they're only tolerable 85% of the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know they're supposed to be pulling away, becoming more independent, doing crap that quite frankly has me scratching my head in wonder. And not the good kind of wonder. The kind of wonder where you're like seriously I don't remember dropping you on your head that hard when you were a baby. I didn't feed you lead chips. WTH-mate?

I know in the grand scheme of things it's not that big of a deal but I swear to Josaphat just about the time I'm patting myself on the back for keeping all the many balls in the air, one of the little hellraisers does something that genuinely would have me lighting a candle. If only we were Catholic.

Of course the two never act up at the same time. Months will go by. We going through our day, up, breakfast, school, home, dinner, weekend, movie, wash, rinse, repeat. Then WHAMOOO! Right upside the head.

I know in ten years I'll look back at this time as a blessing...

Won't I? *wimper

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Because I'm crazy that's why

Somehow, someway I'm having 27 people at my house tonight. I don't quite know how it happened- all I know is that it did.

After working all day, after volunteering at a food bank- somehow I'm coming home and preparing a full dinner plus hors d'oeuvres.


All I know-it has to look like this...

and not this 

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Just because I love you

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Just a quick How-dee-do

I blew it this year.

I look forward to NaBloPoMo all year (yes, I know I need a hobby) (and maybe some serious time away from the Internet) and in the ultimate irony, the instant I committed, life said um, no I don't think so.

I guess I should have known better. November was the last real month of school. The last month when any serious work would get done. Work- well, work is work. I'm trying not to get too committed. Just enough to do a great job and not a bit more. No more 170%, no more utter commitment to work to the occlusion of family or having a life. If there is one thing I've learned from our recent economic downturn, it just doesn't pay to get too involved.

Speaking of work. We had our Christmas party on Friday. Work parties are a blast- not because of the party itself. Sorry- never matters how good the locale, or the food, or the event- all that really matters is the people watching. Take the people you spend hours and hours with on the daily basis, those who ream you out, those you want to ream out, add some spouses and just a little social inebriation and watch how the barriers fall.

I always like to place a bet, sometimes just with myself, sometimes with one or two select people. The- who is going to go too far- bet. Who is going to sleep with the wrong person, who is going to take just a few minutes to tell off the person that's been torturing them for the last six months.Who is going to get falling down drunk and then insist they're fine to drive.

This week's Christmas party was a little too tame for my liking. Everyone is still new, still on their best behavior. Of course I left at eleven so who knows what happened once I left.

I suppose there's always next year.

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