Zoe Rights: 3/1/11

One of these days I'm going to be one of those mom's that always have their s*%t together.

I'm going to arrive at carpool on-time, with nutritious snacks in each holder so that my little charges have a fantastic start to their day. I'm going to have each of my children's activities color-coded and accounted for with their own stickers and calendarized so we never miss a single event. I’ll iron every piece of clothing so that we're clean and crisp and color coordinated at all times. I will gently stroke the arms of my children to awaken them. I will always have the right snack on the right day at the right time at soccer. I will arrive early and stay up late.

Never pay a bill late or fail to have time to help a child with their homework. I will wield a glue stick with the best of them and pack lunches every single day. I will have dinner on the table every single night… by six. I will know all my kid's friend's names and their mothers and fathers and will never refer to them as Timmy's Mom. I will get along with everyone in PTA. I will volunteer at church. I will go to church. I will grow our own garden to ensure we always have healthy fruits and vegetables.

I will only let my children watch two hours of television a day. Educational television and only educational games on the computer.

I will never wear my pajamas to drop my children off at school. I will be thin and fully made up at all times. I will wear age appropriate clothing. I will never pinch my children behind the arm to get them to behave in public. I won't have to because my children will always be behaved.

I will never strike up a conversation with a stranger in public.

Ha, ha, ha, ha yeah right.

The Man-child has asked to go into the city this weekend. By himself. Well, with friends of course. But no adult supervision. They want to go to a concert and stay in a youth hostel.

It's a tough call. Sure he's 18. Sure I want him to have all these grown-up experiences. It's time. On the other hand- he's a new driver. In San Francisco. With the bridges and the hills and the traffic. In San Francisco. By himself. With four other barely 18 boys.

The mommy inside me is screaming NOOOOOOO. The Mom- the one that doesn't want her kid to grow up to be Jeffrey Dahmer...wants to him to have grown-up experiences.

It's not often I regret being a single mom. For the most part it's not that bad. It's not easy by any means but really not that bad. But when situations like this come up...one where I'm terrified about making the right choice. This is when I want a husband. But not just any husband. I want a Parenthood husband. One who's loving and sweet and goes down on one knee and swears he will never, never cheat on me. Not like that icky Crosby. Yuck.

Sometimes I want someone who is just as invested. One who can tell me of course you're making the right decision and your kid won't grow up to be the Unibomber.