>> 20 March 2011
One of these days I'm going to be one of those mom's that always have their s*%t together.
I'm going to arrive at carpool on-time, with nutritious snacks in each holder so that my little charges have a fantastic start to their day. I'm going to have each of my children's activities color-coded and accounted for with their own stickers and calendarized so we never miss a single event. I’ll iron every piece of clothing so that we're clean and crisp and color coordinated at all times. I will gently stroke the arms of my children to awaken them. I will always have the right snack on the right day at the right time at soccer. I will arrive early and stay up late.
Never pay a bill late or fail to have time to help a child with their homework. I will wield a glue stick with the best of them and pack lunches every single day. I will have dinner on the table every single night… by six. I will know all my kid's friend's names and their mothers and fathers and will never refer to them as Timmy's Mom. I will get along with everyone in PTA. I will volunteer at church. I will go to church. I will grow our own garden to ensure we always have healthy fruits and vegetables.
I will only let my children watch two hours of television a day. Educational television and only educational games on the computer.
I will never wear my pajamas to drop my children off at school. I will be thin and fully made up at all times. I will wear age appropriate clothing. I will never pinch my children behind the arm to get them to behave in public. I won't have to because my children will always be behaved.
I will never strike up a conversation with a stranger in public.
Ha, ha, ha, ha yeah right.