Ohhh hmmm
>> 11 June 2012
I might not be satisfied with my job.
There I said it. It was said. Not satisfied. Rolling on words on my tongue. Savoring them like they were my first hit of coffee straight up in the morning. Satisfied, I may not be.
What was the first clue you might ask. Thank you. Thank you for asking.
The churning yearning, burning a hole in my gut. The constant need to flee. The panic, sheer unadulterated panic that has me rising from my bed and snapping at everyone and everything. Annoyed at being thwarted. Time and time and time yet again.
Maybe if I go away. A vacation. That's the ticket. Somewhere tropical, with warm sand, delightful, colorful drinks, never ending stories.
But then I have to come back. Don't I?
I should be grateful. In this economy. To have a job especially one that pays so well. Keeps me in fresh coffee. To have the freedom to create my own - well whatever I want. I'm lucky. So many others have so little.
...and yet.
2 comments:
I recommend you read The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho. The main character is a true testament of loving everything you do for reasons beyond the actual thing you are doing. It will make you love washing your dishes, it will make you love the mundane because of its role in the big picture. You do it because you love yourself and you love your family and you need to provide food and shelter. But this book, makes you want to embrace everything in a totally new way. It will make you look at your work differently. And if after reading it nothing changes? Ah what the heck, sell your home and escape to Bora Bora - and live off of fruits and love... :)
I've recently started to have mild anxiety attacks that seem to happen every Sunday night. I expect it is because the weekend is over...
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