>> 20 June 2012
So I took the man-child in to get his wisdom teeth removed today. I know, wisdom teeth - big, fat, hairy deal. Everyone does it. Everyone gets their teeth removed. Everyone has a story about it. Why, I was out running laps immediately after. I was down for three days. Dry socket, chipmunk cheeks, broken jaws, numb tongues and on and on and on it goes. Say wisdom teeth at a party- I double dog dare you.
Was he worried- Nah. But then again he's 19- if he was worried would he even tell me? (For those who've never had teens or don't remember what it was like to be a teen. The correct answer here is a resounding NO.)
Was I little nervous?
Ummm Yeah. A little.
Not for the after part. But the putting him under. Yikes. That got my mother's heart racing a little. Yeah. I know he's nineteen. Get a freaking grip already. (I swear not a psycho helicopter parent- I'm not. Well maybe just a teeny, tiny bit but not really.)
Read the warnings. Take the worst of all of the prescription drug commercials and put it all on one form. Now sign here Ms. Right taking sole responsibility in the event that our dentist- not even a real freaking anesthesiologist didn't decide to go out on a huge bender last night and isn't going to accidentally maim or destroy one of the best people you know. And by the way.. that'll be $500. No, you can't make payments.
It's fiction I tell you. Fiction has completely ruined my grip on reality. It's come to the point I expect things to happen strictly to move the story forward. Not necessarily bad things. Just things. A car explosion, a handsome man, a coma. It's always a surprise when nothing happens.
The only good thing about wisdom teeth surgery is how speedy it is. In and out- 45 minutes. Bada, Bing, Bada, Boom and he's being wheeled out to the car higher than a kite, legal drugs clutched in his hot little hands bruised, battered and bloody.
For you parents who have to go through something longer. Because of an illness or accident or desired plastic surgery. You people have my true sympathy. Because 45 minutes- that was about 40 minutes too long.