The ties that bind

>> 16 July 2013

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times.... Parenting it's not for the wimpy. Never mind the terrible twos, the sassy tweens, and the utterly, heart-wrenchingly, terrifying teens.

Nevermind that just by being yourself, you have the potential to completely warp another human being FOREVER. Just by being a completely normal, everyday American. Just by being yourself  I swear I didn't know what was in chicken nuggets. I didn't know. I'm sorry.

I dropped SuperGirl off for a 24 hour orientation today. For College. Sleep away college. And suddenly it hit me. In 30 days, I'll be dropping her off and it won't be for 24 hours. I won't be sitting in a hotel room whiling away the night waiting to pick her up. She'll stay here. She'll start her life. No longer will my say have equal weight as her say. Now she gets to chose. I get to say. I get to suggest. But it's her choice. Her consequences.

Give me a second... I need my paper bag.

I've never been more conflicted in my entire life.

Look when you're a Mom, you're a Mom forever. The Mob's got nothing on us. There's no witness protection program for momhood but.... suddenly... the chains have lifted. Just a little bit.

I don't have to be home if I don't feel like it. I can have Jello for dinner. I CAN BE A BAD EXAMPLE. I can get drunk in the middle of the afternoon. I can be flattered when that man gives me that look. Without hearing, EWWW.

Mine, Mine, they are all MINE!

IT's ENDLESS. Endless I tell you. All of the sudden it's about me. It hasn't been about me in over 21 years.

Look when you have kids, a switch gets flipped. A little voice. It's a ASSHOLE voice, truth be known. What are they doing, what are they doing, What are they doing? ALL THE TIME. The only thing that changes is the frequency. When they are the little, the voice is non-stop. Every 30 seconds. Then it's every half an hour. Then every hour. Then they hit teenagehood and it's back to every 30 seconds. Megaphone loud.

That voice, it's quieter. Whole days go by.

All of the sudden it's all about me. Holy crap... it's all about me. Parenting- it isn't for the wimpy but this phase... whew.



Amy (Kid-FreeLiving) July 17, 2013 at 8:20 AM  

I'm thinking now would be a REALLY bad time to describe my college years.

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