Zoe Rights

Nikki TOTALLY knows that from personal experience,...

2010-09-03T11:55:52.250-07:00

Nikki TOTALLY knows that from personal experience, methinks.

What a crappy dude but I'm SO GLAD you aren't with a shithead anymore. I'm working my way up to that!

If there IS a god, that chick has herpes. Omitted ...

2010-09-03T11:10:40.716-07:00

If there IS a god, that chick has herpes. Omitted telling him. Now he's a spotted dick. That's why his teeth were clenched and couldn't turn around. If he moves he'll have to break down and scratch his balls in front of you.

Aren't you glad there is a god?

ugh...that's the worst. Until you meet the man Go...

2010-09-03T08:50:03.241-07:00

ugh...that's the worst. Until you meet the man God created for you...all that crap just disappears.

omg. you poor thing. too bad you couldn't just g...

2010-09-03T07:04:26.345-07:00

omg. you poor thing. too bad you couldn't just grab new clone girlfriends phone and take a picture of yourself for her to have.

10 years. Wow, you are a lot more laid back than me. I gave my husband 2 years of living together before I said, we need to take this to the next level or move on.

God does have a wicked sense of humor, doesn't he

Dude, I hate the dentist. I have actually been con...

2010-09-01T13:45:53.001-07:00

Dude, I hate the dentist. I have actually been considering just requesting a valium prescription for that very purpose! If your dentist were smart he'd just give you some pills!

Those HOA's are the worst! I lived in the suburbs...

2010-08-29T14:35:50.840-07:00

Those HOA's are the worst! I lived in the suburbs for only about 6 months, and they literally came around and MEASURED the grass in the front yard and fined us when it was too high. Ugh. Why didn't the neighbor just come talk to you alone? Crazy.

wow, the water police. how uncool is that. what ...

2010-08-28T18:32:46.868-07:00

wow, the water police. how uncool is that. what do you do? I'm the water police. hehehehe

But you did get to just sit around drinking coffee. Nothing better than that.

Coffee alone AND they set the system for you? SCOR...

2010-08-28T17:37:55.871-07:00

Coffee alone AND they set the system for you? SCORE! Although now if the neighbor finds another reason to lob flaming poo, the chance of extinguishing it before it burns a hole in your pretty green lawn is greatly reduced. Nonstop sprinklers have fire-safety-related perks, after all.

Humiliation works well. When mine started school ...

2010-08-27T16:31:53.530-07:00

Humiliation works well. When mine started school he kept wetting his pants so I made him carry a diaper in his backpack. He stopped wetting his pants.

Ah, teenagers. Tranquilizers would be less expe...

2010-08-27T05:41:56.521-07:00

Ah, teenagers.

Tranquilizers would be less expensive than boarding school in outer Mongolia, and you might just get them to fold laundry or empty the dishwasher every once in a while.

You are the third person this week that has had a ...

2010-08-25T22:44:30.672-07:00

You are the third person this week that has had a really bad day. What the heck is going on?!! I also had a bad day/weekend, which I plan to blog about soon. Maybe all this bad luck is to do with the full moon this week?!!

Okay .. you win! That was shitastic day.

2010-08-25T21:17:55.289-07:00

Okay .. you win! That was shitastic day.

I might have chosen the throat instead of the mout...

2010-08-25T19:09:57.903-07:00

I might have chosen the throat instead of the mouth, but it's ok. I appreciate that you did that for us.

Glad you are home in one piece!

1) Women don't need to change tires (we shouldn't ...

2010-08-25T12:06:06.766-07:00

1) Women don't need to change tires (we shouldn't need to pump gas or take out the garbage either) no matter how "evolved" the world has become. I would have waited 2 hours for AAA if I had to... (in fact, I have)

2) Tell your "friend" some of us enjoy and are eternally grateful for all smooth days, and do not need reminding. Ever. Actually, just punch her in the mouth. Oh wait... good job!

And thanks for the laugh :-)!!

GEEZ! Thank Jeebus I don't know you in real life! ...

2010-08-25T10:00:44.904-07:00

GEEZ! Thank Jeebus I don't know you in real life! :P

Ok but seriously..............I'm probably a bigger baby at the dentist than you are. I feel ya, mama, I really really feel ya.

And I thought my day was bad! My car died and I w...

2010-08-25T06:55:00.380-07:00

And I thought my day was bad! My car died and I waited 2 hours for the tow truck, in yoga tights. Nice. But the dentist AND court- you win. Go get yourself a glass or three of wine.

If you bring your kids to a bar, a comedy club or ...

2010-08-24T19:33:13.184-07:00

If you bring your kids to a bar, a comedy club or any other place that may not necessarily be where they should be and I'm there and maybe drinking? Little Susie and Jr are probably going to come home with a whole new vocabulary.. juss sayin

I get really unnerved when people take children to...

2010-08-24T18:12:21.393-07:00

I get really unnerved when people take children to an inappropriate venue, then expect others to alter perfectly acceptable adult behavior. I am sorry you couldn''t get a babysitter, I really do understand, I remember what it was like STAYING HOME when that would happen, asshats!

Glad you had so much fun, though!!!

Wicked Shawn

One nght, in a bar (in a BAR) I was asked to not c...

2010-08-24T14:16:38.455-07:00

One nght, in a bar (in a BAR) I was asked to not cuss because the family sitting next to us had kids (KIDS) in a bar (had I mentioned I was in a BAR?). I'm all for kids like you say, but there are places for them and that is away from me (unless it's one of my perfect nieces)...

How was it?? So jealous! I looooove going to com...

2010-08-23T22:49:49.733-07:00

How was it?? So jealous! I looooove going to comedy shows. I hope you had a good time! On another note, I left an award for you on my site. You may not be into that sort of thing. If not, it's not a big deal! I'm glad I linked up to your blog either way. :)

Wow, she is funny and attractive. Rare for female...

2010-08-22T21:14:27.371-07:00

Wow, she is funny and attractive. Rare for female comedians. Well, comedians in general.

The Hispanic that hits on the white chick. - HA HA!

omg...i love anjela johnson!

2010-08-22T20:56:33.264-07:00

omg...i love anjela johnson!

Have a blast !!

2010-08-22T19:45:59.398-07:00

Have a blast !!

Have fun (I know you will)

2010-08-22T17:41:37.203-07:00

Have fun (I know you will)

To say I'm not jealous would be such a lie!! Have...

2010-08-22T10:38:11.311-07:00

To say I'm not jealous would be such a lie!! Have a great time and can't wait to hear about it.